That resignation letter: The how/why/why not of quitting your job

“So how exactly is Hoegarden different from Edinger?”

“Would you like to taste it first before you place your order?”

“Oh, that would be just perfect! Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, ma’am. Anything else?”

“No.”

“Actually, yes. Please tell me, what color do you think is this pyjama..err..These pants I’m wearing? Crème, right?”

“Urmm.. the pyjama is white. Ma’am.”

Sarcastic I-told-you-so laughter in the background.

“Oh damn it! I bought this pyjama and I know it’s crème, not white. Also, it’s not a pyjama but a classic, comfy pair of pants that happen to be a little…well, comfortable.”

I recently found myself having this wonderful conversation with my dear friend Dory Fish and a waiter at The Beer Café. On a Monday. On a lovely, rather balmy 12 o’ clock Monday afternoon. But wait, there is something off with this storyline….where are your Monday blues? And where is your patience-trying manager asking you to (re)submit that report you finished on Friday and most importantly, why is your new diet chart/to-do list/no online-shopping sticker not staring at you from your desk board anymore?

Life is simpler happier since Little Wench decided to stop putting herself through a rather monotonous 10-6 routine doing things she wished were done smarter and wondering why punching some colleagues in office for being so stupid was not a legit thing. In short, I put my papers at work almost two months back.

Quitting your job. Easier said than done. Quitting your job. Coming around to acting upon your gut and throwing away your security, staple social circle and approaching fat bonus. Quitting your job. Not so much a pretty thing once the honeymoon phase wears off.

This boy wanted to be Vegeta (Dragon Ball Z), Boxer, Jet fighter pilot and an actor among countless other things as a kid! 

At some point, we all (yes, I am talking about us twenty-somethings) think/dream/talk about quitting our mundane job to go for that dream job/dream vacation or that much-planned entrepreneurship we have always talked so passionately about. But how many of us actually go for it? And why, despite how ‘cool’ our job profile is, we’re not happy with what our ‘job’ is.?

When I decided to put my papers, it was no Eureka moment for me. It was a moment of release. My office took two days to respond, two weeks to agree and a rather awkward speech from me at the farewell pizza party before giving me my last day at office. But then, break-ups are always awkward, aren’t they?

You tell repeat it to yourself how things are in control and this is just an amicable, professional decision, but eventually, it boils down to the same feeling like saying, “Hey, you know what, I tried. But this, whatever this is between us, is not working out somehow!”

The conversations hands down remain one of the most amusing parts of taking a break (apart from the initial sleep-eat-sleep routine, of course). For a good part, most of my conversations with friends had bits and pieces like this-

“Hey!”

“Oh, so you quit!”

“Congratulations!”

“Oh, so you did not switch. You quit!”

“But WHY?!!”

“What? Because it sucked?” “Okay.”

Since childhood, we study, prepare, compete with an urgency to grow up- to be what we would really want to be, that one thing that really pushes the button for you. And then, somewhere in the middle of it, we find ourselves wondering while nodding at another conference room meeting how smoothly that ambition reduced into a means of paying (lot of) bills.

But who is to blame! After all, who wants to ‘appear’ clueless to his already working friend circle? Who wants to think twice before buying that third round of beer every weekend? Who wants to think every morning afresh on the things to be done? And God forbid, who wants to answer the questions parents come up with, those that add the much needed pickle to your unemployed life.

This friend wanted to be a 'Soldier'. I love soldiers.

Situation 1:

Parent 1: So, what are your plans now?

Situation 2:

Parent 2: When are you going to get serious about your career after all?

Situation 3:

Has to be mom: Oh, there is this really nice guy XYZ aunty knows about.

*All above can be asked at any time from having breakfast to watching a movie to a response for “Good Morning!”

Was a bully. Wanted to be teacher, actress, gypsy and waitress.

We all need a sense of belonging. And more than anything, we need our jobs for giving us that. Sometimes, I get fidgety on a weekday morning knowing I have nowhere to get late for. Sometimes, a project I take up doesn’t pay me anything compared to my otherwise salary. Sometimes, I feel guilty for putting my family in a spot with my decisions. Sometimes, I get a little uncomfortable during a conversation when my friends go on and on about how their office lives or the crazy lunch breaks. Sometimes, I can’t tell if I am a good writer and don’t believe just as much in my ‘quitting everything and doing your thing’ plan.

But then, I realise that I get to pick my work and my days to work too. I realise I am free of the routine I so abhorred once. I realise that even if I earn lesser now, the expenses are far lesser. Heck, I realise I don’t have to wait for the weekend to find time to bake a cake. I realise that I can nonchalantly make travel plans and even fulfill my fantasy of ‘be all at once’ to an extent. And most of all, I realise that I’ve never been as conscious of doing (Or not doing) anything before.

Most interesting: This sweet junior wanted to be Sachin Tendulkar. And Shahrukh Khan.

And as I raise the toast of this sweet, peach-pepper flavoured wine, I am not shaming those who follow a routine or are successfully celebrating third anniversary at their workplace; neither am I promoting getting reckless and sitting at home. I am here raising a toast to doing knowing what the heart wants, and then doing it too.

I dream of being in weird places left by my group/train/fellow backpackers. I dream travelling to these exotic places where I have a meet up fixed with the Crazy Eyed Turtle and I can’t find him. I dream of running errands at a job where the office is set up on a vast sea shore.

Practical.? No. Self-pleasing.? Yes. Call me crazy, but do you ever stop loving ice cream even when you know every scoop is going to only add on to your waist?

You got it? Good? Good.

This one, Ah, obviously, Superman!